oh well! here goes!
*FD begins to draw out and fold the wells of space time through the portals, and warps them into a sphere*
eeeeexcellent!
*FD and his acolytes seal the old portal, and erase the septagram*
congratulations Flyboy, you are the proud new owner of a baby-universe. Let's check it out!
*FD touches the sphere, and is sucked inside in a flash*

ohh ohh i'm coming too

*also is sucked inside in a flash*

ahhhh

WEEEEE!
*FD lands in a grassy field with a thud* .....ow
*FD stands up, brushes himself off, and scans the horizon*
....oooo....nifty...*a piece of grass walks over and sniffs FD*
...uhh...nice plant! *gingerly reaches out to pet it*

*Begins Drunkenly*

Ahh... TLC...

I can remember back to the old days, when there were people in here at all hours of the day. I of course was one of them, (and I'm sure you've all heard about my 250+ record for posts in one 24-hr period back July 2000...)

And even before that, when the place was the Trucker Latte Company if my memory serves me right. We'd stay up all night talking to the hobos and CB-trash that would wander in. Blazer was originally a hobo ya know... The little snake came up from Me-hi-co by foot 'till he got here. Ahh, those were the days.

And then when we finally hit the 100,000 dead trucker mark we started to seriously think about a new name. At first we wanted to start something with linux... but too many peep's wanted t' continue usin explorer to browse the boards. (if your computer has now frozen up from the recognization of the word linux, I apologize) And after a long and heated debate, in which Ayn was killed more than seventy times, and things such as tripe, legume, carnation, and Lance Bass disgraced the boards... we finally decided to go with a cafe that dealt with serious matters.


Ted's Laziness Cardhouse.

Ahh, the good old days in the cardhouse. I used to have so much fun. One day good ol' Ted was remodelin and Brian knocked over his chair, the whole parking garage was soon to follow. Those two were at it for days after that. Brian always wanted to be lazy as the sign said, and that little Leprachaun Ted (Didn't I mention he was a leprachaun earlier?) would always sneak up behind him with a deck of cards and yell "Fram-Plooza-Snar-Yap!" and throw them every where. And finally, after they made up over a long and arduous dirtbike competition Ted the Leprachaun went to live in Brian's head... where he lives to this day making him obsessed with green boxers, playing tricks on old Irish men, and actually doing things (of course against his own will). And then after we got all the cards buried along with Kefka and his band of evil hobgoblins bent on making the world a shinier place, our final purpose became known.


Torturing Likely Champions

Though since that name was a bit revealing... we decided on tri-links cafe on some quick advice from Satan himself.

And here we are today, still torturing Ayn and trying to pick paint off our smiling faces... Loving every moment.

hehe Kad is that a new one or what? I really can't remember the old.

Whats the alchohol tolerance of a moogle?

I think that it could be expressed as a function of Phi (half of one plus root five, the golden ratio) and insomnia. I'm not sure of how large the constant would be, but it'd probably involve complex roots and matrix division.

drunk!!! i'm drunk right now ::):):):):):):)

(FD throws a cup of coffee at Flyboy) careful...the natives of this universe might find that offensive.

*Farlo walks in with pixie stix, she looks around and puts them in her pocket and waves and sits down at a table.*

YOU $%^&ER!! *she falls in, then crawls out, a look of evil in her eyes as she physically DRAGS Fd to the pool and forces him under.*

*FD vanishes, and reappears out of the water. using his sweet oracle powers, FD commands the water to leave him. FD is instantly dry*

* sleeping on the table* zzz *wakes up and realizes someone took her cup of coffee* O.o

*uses instant transmission to get away from the great mass of stalfos that just rose up from the streets*

ya'll get ready, they're about to come in here

*puts away his sword and powers up*

sweet! too bad oracles aren't allowed to wield sharp weapons. *puts his sword away*
I hope we make it!
*the oncoming stalfos roar and act evil and crap#

*gets whacked to the floor and through the glass crashing through the tables in his own cafe*

ahhhhh

...well..we may not be allowed to fight so well, but we're excellent healers!
*FD restores the tables entirely, and heals all of Flyboy's cuts and scratches*
...and then there is the thing about summoning wolves to devour our foes.
*Wolves, and various woodland creatures barge in, and lunge at the stalfos*

Oh mine wulfs. Yourn meats are tendre!
To slay and devourn, my curse be e'er!

sighs in defeat, then goes into her corner, and begines to cry.

Mmmm! That's good wolf! Haven't had one that good a while... wonder if her tail's grown back yet...

FD thanx for healing me up and the table, that was expensive poker table too,

so what would you do if a really hot girl tells you, i'm sooo sexually attracted to you, but i don't want to do anything about it?? isn't that a tease?

I would say that means she wants you to do something about it. in other words she's lazy and the balls in your court.

Ooor she wants you but only if it'll turn into something more like a relationship and needs some sign from you that your ready for that.

man i don't know, the thing is i have made moves, plenty of them and she's pretty much shot them all down, and i know for a fact she doesn't want a relationship b/c she said she can't be in one right now

AVAST! This conversation cannot grace the cafe!

/shoo
*Kadino shoos everyone away.*

/moo
*"Mooooooo." Kadino moos*

/dance
*Kadino bursts into dance*

well whatever. *FD opens a portal which sucks away all the stalfos* I'm thirsty.
*FD places his hadn voer a cup, and creates a small amount of water to drink*
I love being an oracle...although my final exam is coming up soon.

you want something to mix that with someone, we got alot

oh no..Oracles are only allowed to drink things naturally occuring on mother earth.
*rolls his eyes*
so no pop, booze, anything.

Moogles fall under natural-occourances. Psychotic, but still healthy in the unique way that only nature can form psychosis.

alrighty, no pop or booze

psychotic isn't alway so bad, unless it interferes with your personal or professional life
(sorry that's the psychologist in me)

*FD runs in, waving a green scroll*
I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT!
*stops, pants*

what teh r**** are you talking about man??

and excuse me for being drunk as a mother ****er, once again :)

In the words of the great Billy, "No!!!!!!!111"

*Takes a loooooong drag on his jello-martini*

Mmmm, gelatin through a straw. Only way to go.

this, right here, is the holy grail of oracles. Only the most elite of us are permitted to touch it...so I killed them and took it. This very scroll holds the secret to creating the water of life.
*opens the scroll*
now...in order for this to work, the water must come from a spring in the shade of a mountain, and it must be taken at the crack of dawn. All we have to do is recite this scroll over the spring, and it will change into water of life. This sacred liquid can cure any disease, heal any wound, and fix any funky disorder you might have. the catch is, every cup you use takes one hour off of your life...I'm a bit nervous about trying it.

Where is this 'crack of dawn' you refer to?

oh...around 5 or 6 :P

She sniffles, then gets up. In a spazz of randomness, she latches on to FD's leg.

Is that the latitude or longitude?

wow ya'll, i've been away for a freaking long time, so much drama goign on between me and the ladies, i keep getting played while i play as well, i guess that's karma

You are the pie man! Your pastries are world-renowned!
My favorite pie is... lemon merengue! C-c-can you serve it?

Join us on tomorrow's shameless quote! Plus Mog-candies for the little ones at home.

what the hell is that all supposed to mean?

::Saunters in, 'cause sauntering > nonchalantly walking.::

Ah, but they always remember one's exits the most... and on a related note:

"Kupo! Round and round you go! Moogle!"

It's not old, it's not unoriginal, it's classic!

*comes in balancing on a large yarnball*

Karo wins the coveted 7³ post in TLC. Bastard.

Someone needs to stop doing their math homework and become human.

Shadow, seven cubed equals what?

343.

ok how did this topic get started?

I think I went in the wrong cafe.. >.<

Why the hell does this place only have 348 posts? Back in my day, we got that many posts in two hours!

Oh shit, sorry, I need to "role-play."

*Gets high*

*...with Shadow*

Yeah, though I'm not sure the page-a-minute was quite a wonderful thing. I would like to see more posts... so I'm going to make an effort to channel some magical force or something in here.

But while I'm at it, time for some housecleaning.

*vanish*
*doom*

Oh noes! you killed the table!!!11!!

Not my fault I had a random encounter with it. And c'mon, I'm not going to run away from a table!

You could have at least gave it a fighting chance, rather then killing it with a cheap trick..

Meh, a waste of time is a waste of time. Better to just be rid of it quickly.

I dunno about that. You see I heard that round here lived an ancient and powerfull order of antique tables. Upon finding out aboutyour merciless table killing they may take offence and invade.

I can go through tables like tempest goes through rants/booze/condoms. Bring 'em on.

They shall come and try you for your crimes against tabledom!

See that shiny white rupee to the left there? How it's pure and glimmering? That* means that I am exempt from their laughable tableture dogma.

*and the fact that I adore tablecide,

Table bigot!

Shazbot! 'Tis not white!

Edit: Kupo!!!

*Casting Redemption on target TLC*

~HaaaaAOoOOOoooo~

I need a strong drink and something to kill... and alas there is nobody around to serve or be served. (oh god... "You Got Served" *shudder*)

Or, and heres an awesome idea. You kill anybody and then drink their blood. Two problems. One solution. Nuff said.

I want the drumstick! :)

Wow, yeah! I haven't been getting enough blood in my diet lately, come to think of it...

nuff said, i'm in for f-ing people up, especially drinking hteir blood, i do it all the time, is that wrong?

Well, if you do it all the time it just gets all "blah" and boring... You have to save it for special occasions.

*breaks into the cafe at night, making a lonely glutton of himself by eating all the hamburgers... alone....*

Wow! I haven't seen someone eat so much rancid meat since...

I don't think I've seen someone eat so much rancid meat. :neutral:

yeah that's gross....da #1 peed on that shit too

#1 is like a cat, its habit, he just can't help it.

I thought I was the one that was like a cat..

mmm.... rancid meat.... :drool:

No karo you just LIKE cats. Disturbingly so :P

Thats also why many of us think you have no balls. But thats another topic for another time.


Sooooooo, how bout them Phillies?

Phillistines?

Yes the Phillistines. Actually I was attempting to spark idle conversation with the mention of a crappy baseball team.

I wish the Cafe had a Bebob Cola machine...

"And I say to myself... I need exact change..."

haha, what are you talkin bout son?

*Starts juggling knives*

(Sealab 2021 joke)

Oh helloooo consumer, yes helloooo consumer,
ba-bah-bah-bap-bop-bop-baaaaaaaaaaaabebob colaaaaaa

sigh....

*goes to get the box of spare hands*

Sorry Karo, I cooked those for lunch. Nobody was around to eat them though, so they're all stale now.

Edit: Wow, its like I kill everything I touch, I post in the Zelda forum and its dead for a day, I post two topics in ++ and it dies, and TLC has been near-death since I started trying to keep it an actual roleplay topic -_-;;

Darn, now I've got to go get some fresh ones..

*grabs a knife and heads out the door*

*horrific screaming ensues*

You should donate the blood you know, to some cause. I hear Tempest has had a few cravings lately. And to think he's just been filling that void with alcohol.

I'll just lug the jugs of blood into the back in case the cafe ever needs a new coat of red paint..

Blood turns brownish on wood though... (Err, I always imagined hardwood floors)

Well, we'll just keep it until we get some vampires in here.

I didn't think you painted floor's though... Blood makes a very nice varnish though!

That it does, that it does..

..need any extra hands?

I'd like to say yes, but I already have eight. :\

I could use a rib though.

geez, we're always out of what people want!

*throws a brick at a bar patron, smashing his skull*

*cuts open his chest and pulls out a rib*

Here you go... careful, it's still dripping.

*hands rib to ZF*

I like it better drippy. More flavor!

What can I say? I like my baby-back ribs. Literally.

*Eats rib*

No, that was from an adult.. if you want one from a baby's back, we charge extra.

Well in that case... well, I don't think I want anything else from Cadaver's! See if you ever get MY business again!

Cadaver's? This is Tri-Link's!
You're in the wrong place!

Then why does it say Cadaver's outside? Huh? This is false advertising! I can sue you know!

It says that because we sell cadavers here! duh!

Very well then, I'd like a job.

What kind of experence do you have with cadavers?

Well, I've been planning on taking Anatomy... And I've done my fair share of autopsies, disecting, *cough*murders*cough*, and the occasional grave... you know, grave robbery.